


both fools, flawed yet loving

by ajidhaka



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TAG THAT FIRST ADGSGJJA, M/M, Making Up, Out of Character, Pining, aka avoiding conflict and making each other feel miserable, angst with fluff, bylad sylvain and dedue also appear but theyre not the major characters in this fic so, fraldarddyd - Freeform, headcanon heavy, okay okay enough tags hhhhh, pre-release, probably who knows agdzkuhkdk, so if that is triggering then better not read this. as a heads up: it happens towards the end, this was sparked by an ask i sent bae-leth on tumblr and their input lmao, warning: i will be describing someone being wounded but it's not detailed. also blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 07:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19902319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajidhaka/pseuds/ajidhaka
Summary: Dimitri cannot help the pain he feels in his heart whenever he sees Felix, knowing that his childhood friend- A friend he had come to cherish greatly, a friend that means the world to him- will never talk to him again. That, for reasons unknown, he is ignoring him, has done so for a couple months, and makes no attempt at reconciling, or even telling Dimitri why he is giving him the cold shoulder.





	both fools, flawed yet loving

**Author's Note:**

  * For [honeybakedtea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybakedtea/gifts).



> AAAAH okay okay- this is based on this post: https://bae-leth.tumblr.com/post/186332572190/hsdfhjfdsjhsdf-are-you-a-mind-reader-because  
> i felt COMPELLED to write this, so i,, went a lot more hogwild than i wanted to initially ahjsdhgja i cant believe i wrote so much.... its still pre-release for crying out loud.......  
> anyway, warning in tags! pls read them  
> and with that............... enjoy these two lemons being idiots lmao
> 
> edit: i fucked up the paragraphs, the space between them is 2 lines (?) instead of one but i'm too tired to fix it whoops sry

Dimitri cannot help the pain he feels in his heart whenever he sees Felix, knowing that his childhood friend- A friend he had come to cherish greatly, a friend that means the world to him- will never talk to him again. That, for reasons unknown, he is ignoring him, has done so for a couple months, and makes no attempt at reconciling, or even telling Dimitri why he is giving him the cold shoulder.

Any attempt the young prince makes to spend time with Felix, so he will finally tell him what is bothering him about Dimitri to this degree, fails. Felix avoids him like the plague and he himself cannot bring up the confidence to just go and talk to him until he fesses up.

Dread settles into Dimitri’s heart: Will they never reconcile? Will they never talk again? _Will they never be friends again?_

The now bittersweet memories of their childhood come to the prince’s mind, how they spent their time with each other as much as possible, along with Ingrid and Sylvain. How Dimitri managed to get Felix, who already had this lone wolf mentality back then, to open up. How their quartet of friends promised each other to always stick together, through thick and thin.

“ _So much for that_.” Dimitri says bitterly but chastises himself immediately after. He thinks, ruefully, that it must be his own fault, that there is something he did that made Felix turn away from him. Something that is so awfully obvious that it is almost like an insult to not realize it by yourself.

Dimitri cannot think of anything, yet he continues to blame himself.

* * *

The young prince’s focus sways in lessons, in tasks, even in normal day-to-day conversations. His thoughts keep on revolving around Felix and whatever he has done to him, yet he cannot figure out whatever crime he committed.

Dimitri sees Felix sitting at the desk in front of him during one of Professor Byleth’s lessons. His back faces the prince and the sight of it hurts- It hurts, because _oh_ , how Dimitri longs to see Felix’ face instead, have him rather sit by his side than in front of him. How he wants his friend to talk to him again, or at the very least call him a boar to his face like he used to.

The aching in Dimitri’s heart makes him dizzy, or maybe it is just the tears that threaten to spill from his eyes.

The prince does not even notice Sylvain glancing his way, noticing how Dimitri is quietly suffering.

* * *

“Hey, Felix.”

Felix turns around, looking at whoever approaches him right after that boring lesson. It is Sylvain, though the redhead is sporting an unusually worried expression.

Felix has an inkling what this is about, yet still attempts to steer the conversation into a different direction from the get-go:

“What is it, Sylvain? Got rejected by another lady?”

Sylvain snorts, a momentary change in his expression from severity to amusement.

“Very funny, Felix. Talking about rejection,”

He steels himself for the uncomfortable conversation he is about to have- Of course the redhead would not fall for his attempt at distraction- and ways how he can avoid telling Sylvain what is going.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s with you rejecting Dimitri?”

Felix feels his cheeks burning immediately, entirely flustered at the phrasing-

“You make it sound like I turned that bo- _Dimitri_ down after a love confession.” Felix blurts out, says it too fast, a bit too loud and already he is feeling hot with shame. _Stupid boar_ , he is always on his mind-

“Well, is that what happened?” Sylvain asks smugly, seeing the effect this is having on his friend plain as day.

“ _I wish_.” is Felix’ first thought and he hates himself for it.

“Absolutely not.” is what he says instead.

Sylvain sighs and looks at Felix questioningly. The redhead almost wishes that it was the case, as the stubborn man would only reject Dimitri because he is too embarrassed to admit that he has feelings for him as well, but alas, nothing is quite so easy.

“What’s going on then?” Sylvain asks again, hoping to get an answer out of his friend and end this one-sided hostility, but just as he feared, Felix draws his lips in a tight line and frowns: Sylvain already knows he will not get his friend to open up today.

Felix shakes his head and walks past the redhead, yet, as he leaves, he thinks about Dimitri, and his own heart aches. He is angry, upset, but most of all, worried. He feels overwhelmed, he always does whenever he dwells on his feelings for the prince too much, and in a moment of vulnerability-

“That boar is a fool.” Felix blurts out before he quickly leaves, almost breaking out into a run so he will not have to face Sylvain, who is shouting after him, telling him to come back and come clean.

* * *

Dimitri is standing in front of the counseling box. A letter is in his hands, the entire page filled with his scrawl and he knows there are dried up tears on the paper. The prince feels entirely too weak, too broken and beaten.

He thinks, maybe, he needs to let go of Felix, instead of crying after him over and over again. That, maybe, he should get rid of the letter in his hands instead-

“Your Highness?”

Dimitri jumps and hastily puts his hands behind his back, hoping the letter has not been spotted by Dedue’s keen eyes.

“Yes, Dedue?”

Dimitri is feigning ignorance and he is perfectly aware his loyal retainer is aware of it. The prince waits almost impatiently for Dedue to answer, who, surprisingly, sighs and shakes his head.

“Your Highness, would you like me to talk to Felix?”

Dimitri feels his cheeks flush at the proposition and what it implies: Is it truly so obvious that he is yearning after Felix’ presence by his side? That he wants his friend to look at him the way he used to?

The thought, the very real chance, that he will never have this back, hits Dimitri square in the face. His entire body slumps at the realization of said possibility; He is unaware that the letter slipped out of his hands.

“No, but still, thank you, Dedue.” Dimitri replies and he is aware of how awful he must be looking, going by Dedue’s expression shifting from mild worry into full-on concern.

Dimitri leaves, practically runs, after he chokes out a “ _Good night_ ”. Dedue watches him run, wanting to tell the prince to come back and talk about this, yet he knows it is quite late and he cannot be caught shouting in the monastery at this hour.

Before he leaves as well, he notices the letter on the ground. He picks it up and wonders what to do with it. He knows what is most likely written in this letter: The prince’s perspective on this matter and his cry for help. Dimitri was about to put it into the counseling box, after all.

Dedue is loyal to his Highness, yet he is sure he must go against Dimitri’s wishes to fix this mess. So, before going back to his own room, he stops by Felix’ and pushes the letter through the small gap beneath the door.

* * *

Felix almost misses the letter.

He is awake quite early today, though that is no surprise. He always is, the covered up eyebags proof of this.

The sun has barely risen, barely lighting up his room. The swordsman makes do though, he is used to this after all. He dresses himself and gets ready to go to the training hall of the monastery; It is his usual morning routine.

Felix is about to open the door when his foot nudges the letter. Having previously not seen it, he picks it up, curious about its contents, yet somewhat annoyed who would deliver him a letter to read so early.

He opens it. His heart stops-

_That scrawl, it is the boar’s!_ Felix can recognize it a mile away, quite acquainted to Dimitri’s horrible handwriting when he is in a hurry or is not pressured to be prim and proper.

Felix feels his chest tighten but ignores it as he reads the first words:

“Dear Professor Byleth,”

Realization hits the swordsman. This is a letter meant for the counselling box. Why did it end up in Felix’ room then?

It does not matter- There is an entirely different question to be asked. Now that he has this letter, _will he read it?_

The temptation is there, Felix wanting to know what agonizes Dimitri to the degree he will ask for help. The prince has the habit of keeping things bottled up- _Ah, is there not someone else like that as well?_ -so this must be quite severe.

Without dwelling on it a second longer, Felix starts reading:

_“Dear Professor Byleth,_

_I have a friend that won’t talk to me anymore but I am unaware of his reasons. It must be quite obvious, which is why he most likely won’t tell me, yet I cannot figure out what I have done. I wish he would tell me but he has become so unapproachable to me. I can’t muster up the courage to go up and talk to him anymore. Quite pathetic, is it not?_

_Professor, I don’t know what to do. I want to be better; I want to make up with this friend. I miss him so dearly. It tears at my heart but I am afraid I might be quite selfish with this desire._

_I turn to you, in hopes of getting an answer on what to do, as I am lost on how to reconcile with this friend- If that friend wishes for us to do so. Although it is something I have been doubting lately, I still yearn to have him by my side again. He means so much to me, I can barely put it into words- Him now avoiding me and having turned away from me has shattered my heart._

_Please give me guidance, Professor.”_

Felix wants to rip the letter into pieces, burn it, _just get it out of his sight-_

He refuses to acknowledge his own tears, yet has seen the dried ones on the paper.

_“The real fool here is me.”_ he thinks bitterly to himself. Felix does not agree with Dimitri’s almost self-destructive chivalric behaviour, his tendency to bottle things up and close himself off, yet the swordsman is not quite so different in regards to the latter.

Felix hates himself for hurting his friend, for hurting his _special someone-_

As if to escape his own train of thought, he slams his room’s door open and storms out, leaving the letter on the floor in his room.

Yet, as he does so, Felix makes up his mind to confront Dimitri, instead of continuing to avoid his friend.

* * *

Felix curses his fate as he passes by Byleth- _Why is the professor awake at such an early hour?_ – who informs him that the Blue Lions will be heading out on a spontaneous mission shortly to get rid of bandits that have been attacking the people living near the monastery.

He will have to wait to fess up to Dimitri but he already feels the anxiety rising up in him. Felix feels restless, incredibly so, as he prepares his armor and weapons for the upcoming mission.

* * *

The professor is staring at Dimitri, his usually stoic face showing a slight change- His brows are more furrowed and his worry is evident on his face, yet the prince opts to ignore it. He is perfectly aware of how soulless he must be looking.

“Is something the matter, Professor?” he asks, trying to sound polite and not quite as down in the dumps as he is currently feeling. He cannot fool the professor, nobody can, yet it did not deter him from trying.

“We will be talking after today’s mission, Dimitri. The Blue Lions, along with me, will head out on a mission to take out bandits. I have already told Dedue- _and Felix_.”

Dimitri’s breath hitches at the mention of the swordsman; He sees Byleth’s gaze sharpening, having realized by his reaction who is on the prince’s mind as of late.

“O-Of course, Professor. Pardon me.” the prince excuses himself as he quickly makes haste to leave, not being able to take the professor’s eyes straight up piercing through him, seeing through his lies and secrets.

Dimitri hopes dearly he will be able to keep it together today.

* * *

The mission has been going well so far, despite the obvious tension between Dimitri and Felix. Both of them are aware that everyone picked up on it, the worried glances and stares not the slightest bit of secretive.

Yet as much as they stare, they still manage to fight without much repercussions. That much cannot be said for Dimitri’s upcoming predicament however.

The prince has been fighting well, despite his gaze lingering on Felix for far too long half the time, yet it has only been a matter of time until this would get the best of him.

In another moment of vulnerability, as he stares at Felix’ back, feeling his chest constrict again, he does not see the enemy sneaking up on him. Only when said bandit shouts as he raises his axe to swing at the prince does he realize that he has no way to block nor dodge the surely lethal hit fast enough.

Dimitri is scared, so very scared, as he stares his potential death into its eyes.

What shatters him more than this paralyzing fear as he- _a yell, Felix’ yell_ , _coming from behind him_ \- is getting shoved to the ground, effectively being moved out of the way. As he hits the ground-

There is blood. There is blood seeping out of wounds.

Dimitri barely registers that Felix strikes down the bandit, his eyes glued to the deep, gaping wound at the swordsman’s shoulder.

Dimitri wants to cry. He wants to scream. He wants to yell, “Why would you do that for me?!” and wants to choke out, in-between sobs, “You got hurt because of me,”.

Felix topples over, falls onto the ground as his mind goes blank. He is bleeding, his clothes soaked in so much blood already, and even more is spilling on the ground.

Dimitri scrambles to him, his voice stuck in his throat due to shock as he lies by Felix’ side-

_“That’s not how I wanted it!”_

-and starts to cry.

“Why?”

The prince is barely audible, yet Felix hears him crystal clear. He looks up to Dimitri, his vision starting to blur. A smile, a rueful, painful, smile, stretches on the swordsman’s face. It is a unusual sight, and one Dimitri wishes to not have been exposed to ever in his life.

“I wanted to talk to you today.”

Dimitri’s eyes widen. He feels how the cracks in his heart spread.

“I can’t hate you. You’re still my friend- You, _you mean the world to me.”_

Dimitri cannot even breath, his heart hammering away-

_“You boar.”_

The cracks spread, his heart shatters. He is entirely broken.

Dimitri is clutching onto Felix, cradling him in his arms, not caring an ounce about the blood smearing all over his armor and clothes. He holds _his friend_ close to himself and cries, shouts, _screams, sobs-_

The tears do not stop, streaking down his face with no end. Dimitri is so consumed by his despair that he does not even register Byleth shouting orders, does not even register Mercedes running over to them, does not even register he is being pulled away from Felix by Sylvain and Dedue so Felix can be healed and maybe still be saved-

All he registers is the blood and his grief, his sorrow, his regret.

* * *

Felix feels disoriented and incredibly tired when he opens his eyes. He is staring at a ceiling, that much he registers, yet it takes him a while until he realizes that he is back in the monastery.

His memory supplies him with what occurred shortly after. Accordingly, his wound, that will surely leave a nasty scar, starts hurting at said memory. He cannot feel even a bit of regret about jumping in so carelessly though, after all he was able to save Dimitri.

Talking about the prince, Felix glances to his left and sees him right there, sitting in a chair and sleeping. The swordsman nearly jumps out of his skin as he sees the boar and now, as Dimitri is right here, he fully registers the situation:

Felix is not dead, but very much alive. Before he passed out, he admitted how much Dimitri matters to him and he swears it might have come off as a love confession, and if Dimitri understood it as such-

Felix’ face heats up; He feels hotter than a thousand suns. Oh, his last words were so _cheesy_ and _embarrassing_ to him, he might die from mortification now instead.

Dimitri is suddenly moving, his eyes blinking. He is awake.

Ah, Felix’ fate really hates him, does it not? He has no chance to catch a break before having to deal with this uncomfortable conversation.

The prince looks quite drowsy but as soon as his eyes land on Felix they snap wide open.

“Felix!” he shouts and almost falls out of his chair. He supports himself on the swordsman’s bed with one hand and leans forward, like he is trying to comprehend that Felix is finally awake and well now, like he is really in front of him and _not dead_.

“H-Hey.”

His voice is raspy; Felix notices how dry his throat is. He must have not drunk anything in a while. Dimitri, aware as ever, takes note of it. He helps Felix sit up- Normally, the swordsman would deny being aided like this, yet he cannot help himself, the gesture making him feel soft, _seeing Dimitri safe and sound making him feel soft_ \- and gives Felix a glass of water. He drinks it, the movement stinging in his shoulder a bit but he has endured worse, he is fine. It does not matter.

_Seeing Dimitri being fine, unharmed, is all that matters._

“Thanks.” Felix says as he puts the glass down.

“Of course.” Dimitri’s reply sounds strained. There is something to be said, the elephant in the room, but neither him nor Felix know how to say it. It has been a long time coming, yet coming out and saying it now, after all this time, feels overwhelming.

Dimitri is the first to crack.

“You’re an idiot.”

Felix looks up, surprised. Insults are very unlike the prince, yet as soon as he looks at Dimitri and sees the tears gathering in his eyes, he realizes how angry and _scared_ he was.

“What would I have done if you were _dead_! If you died _because of me_!” the prince yells, his voice cracking as the tears roll down his cheeks. Felix does not know how to reply, he just stares at Dimitri breaking down, mouth wide open in shock.

“You’re an idiot! An asshole! If you were dead, I would’ve chased after you to the afterlife just so I could punch you, you pig! If you were dead, I- I…”

Dimitri finds himself unable to continue yelling at Felix, instead of shouts the room is now filled with the sound of his sobs. His face is burrowed in his hands, rubbing away the tears that streak down his face.

The swordsman feels his heart break, shattering. He is struggling to find the words to say how he feels; He has never seen the prince quite like this before.

“Dimitri.” Felix calls out, hoping he will listen to him. The prince looks up, his face remains twisted in sorrow. It is a sight Felix never wishes to see again, ever, in his whole life.

“I’m… I’m sorry. Not about almost dying for you-“

“Felix-“

“-but for avoiding you.”

Felix takes a breath, sees Dimitri’s eyes widen and his own breath hitch, and continues:

“I hate your chivalry. I hate how you’re always being polite, even if someone is being cruel to you. You’re a _person_ , for crying out loud! Stop bending down to people just so you can be ‘brave’ and show ‘honour’! To hell with that!”

Now Felix is the one yelling, as Dimitri, with bated breath, listens.

“I loathe seeing you put up with all this shit. And more so with how you don’t even tell me- _us_ , anything! I don’t care if you’re the prince of Faerghus or a commoner, I don’t give a damn! You’re my- _my friend_ , so stop… Stop shouldering all these burdens by yourself. We’re friends, you stupid boar, so drop the act and tell me when you’re upset.”

Felix feels like he might cry himself; Expressing all the frustration and anger he has felt towards Dimitri overwhelms him, yet he bites his lip and hopes he can pull himself together. Yet, he, aware of how much of a hypocrite he can be, adds:

“But I suppose we’re the same in that regard. I made you suffer and was too stubborn to tell you to your face what bothered me. I’m sorry, Dimitri.”

The prince exhales and, slowly but surely, a smile finds its way on his face. Felix feels his heart swell at the breathtaking sight; It is a _genuine_ smile and the swordsman likes it by far more than he cares to admit.

“I thought I’d never have you back, Felix. I… I can’t deny what you’ve said. I don’t want to be a bother and as the prince of Faerghus-“

“None of that. To me, you’re Dimitri, the stupid boar that matters so much to me that I can barely take it. The stupid boar that I want to see smile a _real smile_ every day, the stupid boar that I want to be happy every day.”

Felix feels the colour rushing to his face after he blurts out his thoughts. He has really done it now, has he not?

_“Why did I say that?! There’s no way he won’t get it this time, oh no, oh no-“_. Just as they patched up their friendship-

Dimitri’s face goes from shock to a smile, a smile that widens and shines as bright as the sun, as a billion stars in the sky even, and lights up the entire room.

“Felix, how do you feel about me?” he asks but the smile on his face giving away that he already knows the answer.

Felix has no choice but to confess, Dimitri practically knows now after all, but that smile, that precious smile on his friend’s face, gives him hope-

He flushes a deep red at the prospect, and so, the swordsman steels himself for those three words he thought he would never say, those words that carry the weight of the emotions he feels for Dimitri, has felt for Dimitri for so long-

“I love you… You boar.”

Dimitri’s smile shines brighter as he breaks out into laughter, holding onto his stomach as tears gather in his eyes.

“Come on, that’s not funny-“

“You’re right. Because I love you too, Felix.”

He feels the breath knocked out of him as he hears those words, hears Dimitri say _he loves him_. It is infinitely too much, he feels the shock and relief wash over him all at once, even if it was so obvious-

He grabs onto Dimitri’s collar, ignoring how his shoulder is throbbing in sharp pain in protest, and pulls him in for a kiss.

It catches Dimitri off guard, yet he collects himself quickly and reciprocates. It is like a fire is sparked between them. Their kiss is clumsy, surely each other’s first kiss, yet it carries that weight of loving each other, and has lifted the weight of having not confessed so far.

The kiss feels _right_ and that is all that matters.

They pull away from each other. Albeit the kiss not having lasted long they both feel so elated, so indescribably full of joy and love; Just like they are meant to.

Felix feels unbelievably silly but happy, like he just confessed to his first crush- Well now, is it not the case? Has he not been pining, hiding behind a mask of biting sarcasm and rude comments?

Dimitri places his hand on the swordsman’s cheek, feeling the heat radiating off of Felix’ wonderfully flushed face, and strokes away a stray tear.

“Lay back down. You’re still hurt, _my love_.”


End file.
